Impatience is a Virtue (or, Why I Am a Masochist)

Books! OMG, books!

 

As some of you may know, WriteOnCon (an online kidlit writer’s conference) is currently in session. Agents, editors, and published authors are congregating to debate in forums, discuss in live chats, and instruct in blog posts. Thousands of aspiring writers are attending this virtual event that allows them to get a glimpse into the minds of the people who make this industry tick. For someone like me, WriteOnCon is made of–if I may coin a phrase–fabu-freaking awesomesauce.

It is also a very refined kind of torture.

Yes, you read that right. Attending WriteOnCon is a weird, blissful pain that makes me occasionally seize up, or yelp and cover my face with my hands, or groan in frustration. Pity the poor person who has to be seen with me in public when I do this (that would be Azalea, who made the best of it by laughing at me while we were sitting in our favorite writing coffee-shop the other day). The fact of the matter is that seeing all of this awesome stuff is about as painful as it is wonderful. But I can’t stop attending WOC events.

TOO MUCH AWESOME. CAN'T WATCH.

Why? Because to paraphrase the fictional character who is often mistaken for my namesake, I want to be where those people are.

I’m a writer. I’ve known this about myself since I was a small child. And if I may share one weird (and perhaps embarrassing) secret with you, I have always known that I was going to write and publish a book. I don’t know how to explain this well, because it seems like no matter how I phrase it I’m going to come off sounding like I’m just cocky–and I’m not. Please, please don’t get me wrong. This is not self-confidence (although I do have some of that), and it isn’t arrogance either (at least, I hope it isn’t). The best word I can think of to describe it is “fate”: I feel like I’m fated to write and publish a book. I cannot stress enough that this feeling/knowledge/whatever isn’t a positive or a negative: it’s simply a fact of my everyday existence in the same way that gravity is a fact of my everyday existence. As with gravity, I rarely even think about it most of the time because it’s just there. Inevitable and ever-present. (And dear God, isn’t it lucky that I happen to like writing? What if I’d been fated to do something I didn’t want to do?)

Tiny ball of rock, big ball of fire. Not to scale.

But if you’re like me, every once in a while, you have these moments where you suddenly go, “Oh my God. Gravity. Holy crap. We’re on this little ball of rock spinning through space, and the only thing holding us here is this powerful, invisible force. Amazing. Terrifying. Awesome.”

That’s kind of how I feel about the gravitational pull leading me towards the publishing world, and WriteOnCon is one of those moments where I become aware of it. As I’ve mentioned, it’s not a comfortable experience because it comes with this frisson of electric excitement and anxiety. Reading the posts and watching the chats and surfing the forums, there’s this physical sensation of wanting to GET UP AND GO. I’m infused with energy and passion and excitement at the idea of diving into the publishing process, of querying/selling a book, or of interning with an agent or editor. I feel so ready to dive into this world that I’ve been researching for the past eight years (no joke).

But at the moment, I’m just a writer with an unfinished manuscript, so that energy has nowhere to go. It’s not the calm, steady, focused sort of energy I need for writing. Hence why it manifests in random twitches and squeaks while sitting in a coffee-shop:

Me: *under my breath as my hands fly to my face* Oh my God.

Azalea: *raises her eyebrows* You are ridiculous.

Me: Sorry.

Azalea: What was that?

Me: Um. A really good query letter. It was about zombies and steampunk in 19th-centry Philadelphia, and the author was talking about how it would probably appeal to fans of Cassandra Clare and…*continues to prattle on with anxious wistfulness*

It’s funny because I’m normally good at being patient, yet somehow this is so much harder than anything I’ve ever had to be patient about. College applications were downright relaxing by comparison. In the long run, though, I think this impatience is going to serve me well because it proves to me that I really do belong with all these crazy people who love telling stories for kids and teens (and helping other people tell those stories).

And regardless of fate, I’m really happy about that.

Ari Susu-Mago and the Case of the Mysterious Sound Bite

Look at Nemo. Isn't he adorable?

Speaking as a writer who is forever fighting a losing battle with her brain to remember cool ideas, one of the best things about my cell phone is its voice memo capability. Nemo (yes, my roommate and I named our phones after Pixar characters) is my go-to if it’s late at night and I need to record an idea that just popped into my head. Usually the entries just pile up in Nemo’s memory bank until I go back and listen to them.

Which is what I did today. And that’s where our story begins. This evening, as I was walking to a friend’s house, I suddenly realized that it had been forever since I’d listened to all of those random ramblings. So I pulled out my phone, put it to my ear, and pressed the play button.

Now, 90% of the voice memos I’ve recorded are related to my writing in some way or another, and even if I don’t specifically remember where I was and what I was doing when I recorded them, they usually make sense. Yes, even the sleepy ones with lots of pauses in them (hey, it’s hard to collect your thoughts into a coherent sentence at 5:30 AM). But halfway through the most recent batch of memos, I stumbled across one that I have no recollection of recording and do not understand in the slightest.

The message is as follows:

 

Me : *snickering slightly* I’m thinking of caterpillars right now; I don’t know why. In particular this big green one. I can still see it!

Someone else : *laughing in the background*

 

I was standing in the middle of the street when I heard this for the first time. To the casual passerby, I probably looked like Robin Williams had just called me out of the blue or something, because I was standing there holding the phone to my ear and laughing in total bewilderment.

I just…what?

What the hell is that even supposed to mean?

Once I’d stopped cracking up, I began to try to figure out how this recording came to be. After all, it is undeniably my voice doing the talking, and I don’t drink or do drugs (unless I have somehow repressed the memory of doing so). However, the laughter in the background struck me as quite familiar, and though it wasn’t a perfect match, I thought the second part of the laugh sounded a bit like my dear friend Azalea. I resolved to ask her about it, since it was in fact her house that I was bound for at that very moment.

But then Azalea was at work when I arrived. Poop.

I eventually went home and played the clip for my mother, and though she was just as amused/bemused as I was, she asked me when the clip was recorded. It hadn’t occurred to me that I could check this, but indeed, after poking around in a little sub-menu, I was able to find the recording date: May 2nd, 2011.

Well, I was still at school on May 2nd. So Azalea is ruled out.

Listening to it again, though, I realized that the laugh in the background could be a dead ringer for my roommate’s laugh. So as of this moment, I am waiting to hear back from her to find out whether she has any insight into how and why this recording came into existence. If she is as clueless as I am, then this case may go unsolved. If she has any further information, however, I shall update this post.

For now, this is Detective Ari, signing out.

Meet the Cast! (or, Awesome People Who Like Books Too)

I realize I have been remiss in the way of introductions, launching readers into this blog without any sort of guide to the sort of people they might be expected to encounter here. Not that blog readers normally expect such a tool…but still. So here’s a quick rundown of our not-so-dramatis personae (I’ll try to keep it updated as time goes on):

Ari Susu-Mago

The author, hiding in a tree

Erm, so I think most of you know me, but on the off chance you don’t, my name is Ari and I’m a writer. I generally write young adult science fiction and fantasy (or just generally “speculative” fiction), although I do occasionally dabble in poetry and enjoy writing silly stuff too. I’m also feeling lazy, so if you want to know more about me, you can just click here.

 

 

Frederick Regency Raptor

Fred in silhouette (he's very camera-shy)

Like all velociraptors, Fred comes to us from the Cretaceous period. He’s had a long and distinguished career as an editor and occasionally as an author, though now he mostly prefers to occupy himself by reading blogs about the Regency period and the occasional steampunk novel. He’s loath to be seen without his top-hat and monocle, and carries a quill pen at all times. He also manages (read: has claimed) my Tumblr, which you can view here. Fred and I get along quite well, though we do sometimes disagree about things from time to time.

Oh, and Fred’s secret? In spite of being an adamant Grammar Nazi, he has a bit of a lolcat habit (ooh, he’s going to kill me for telling you that).

Azalea Micketti

Azalea Micketti

Azalea is one of my very best friends. She is also an avid reader/writer, and is currently studying to become an actor. You’ll probably hear references to her from time to time (because I kind of talk to her…a lot), and we might do a bit of guest-blogging for each other or maybe some interviews/co-blogging? We’ll see. (I haven’t told her about this idea yet. :-p ) At any rate, she’s totally awesome, and you can check out her blog on “Life, Love, and the Pursuit of Theatre” here!

Rachel Kambury

Rachel Kambury

Rachel is another good friend of mine who has already finished a book and is hard at work on her second! Like Azalea, Rachel is the sort of person I might ask to interview or blog with/about (and no, I haven’t told her this either). I also owe Rachel a huge debt of gratitude because she is the one who introduced me to National Novel Writing Month (affectionately known as NaNoWriMo) and is thus directly responsible for the fact that I have a finished novel. You can read some of her writing here.

The Vlogbrothers

Hank and John Green

Hooyes, you will hear references to the Vlogbrothers. John and Hank Green are far and away my favorite videobloggers. John is a successful YA author (i.e. he basically has my dream job), and Hank writes awesome nerdy music and runs the environmental technology blog EcoGeek. The brothers have been vlogging together since 2007, and their videos are funny, heartfelt, intelligent, thoughtful, and just generally awesome. If you haven’t already, you’ve got check them out. Seriously.

You may also hear references to Nerdfighters or to Nerdfighteria. This is the name for the community that has sprung up around the Vlogbrothers videos, and is also made of awesome. As for why it’s called that…well, I’ll let John and Hank explain. Sort of.

Assorted Family and Friends

This one is sort of obvious.

I’m sure there will be more, but for the moment, that’s all. TTFN!