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On Writing and AWOLing and Commencing

12 Apr

Hi!

This is another one of those I’m-not-dead-I-swear kinds of posts, but there’s a bit more to it than that. Because it’s not just this blog that I’ve neglected—in the past few months, my extracurricular writing has basically ground to a standstill. Several reasons for this:

  • I’m taking a creative writing class that requires me to write approximately 300 words per day. For a NaNo vet, this seems like a trivial number (I can do 300 words in <5 minutes if I have to)—but unlike NaNoWriMo, these can’t be word-vomit. They have to be carefully-crafted 300 words, each piece in response to a given prompt. Doing that takes 1-2 hours out of every day. So I’m writing, and writing creatively, but not working on my longer projects.
  • The First World War. I read about it. I write about it. I think about it. I’m looking at postgraduate study for it. And all of that takes time.
  • It’s my last semester of college. My final weeks on campus, spending time with my friends and enjoying all the amazing things my school has to offer. So that even when I have a free evening (as I do tonight), I’m opting to go to a friend’s poetry slam rather than snag some writing time. Because pretty soon, I won’t be able to attend this friend’s poetry slams—but I’ll have plenty of writing time.

All of that said, I miss blogging, and I particularly miss my novels (I’m itching to get back to editing them). I spent last night brainstorming several sticky plot points with friends, and another couple of friends helped me out a few weeks ago when I was desperate to work out some worldbuilding logistics. So I do what I can when I can.

Anyhow, the upshot is: you probably won’t be seeing all that much of me on the interwebz in the next month or two, but it’s just because I’m trying to squeeze every last drop out of my undergraduate experience and not freak out too much as Commencement approaches. So never fear, dear readers and raptors—I shall return anon!

Much love,

Ari

I can’t quite believe I’m saying this…

9 Mar

…but I think I want to go to graduate school.

Hoooolllllyyyyyy crap.

This is a big about-face for me. I had thought I was done with academia. Last year in particular, the way forward seemed so clear: I liked studying English, but not enough to major in it, and a graduate creative writing degree didn’t seem necessary; I liked studying psychology, enough to major in it, but not enough to pursue it beyond a bachelor’s degree. I was going to intern in publishing, and then join the publishing industry right out of college, and the only real hitch in this plan was my complete lack of desire to be an inhabitant of New York City.

And then this WWI obsession happened. In my final semester of undergraduate study, I have shaped my course schedule around the Great War and, as of last week, have successfully managed to tie all of my non-war courses to this topic (whether that means reading a book about shellshock/PTSD for my Abnormal Psychology course or analyzing data about the correspondence of the European Powers between June 28th 1914 and August 6th, 1914 for my Statistics course). And a little voice in the back of my mind keeps whispering,

You know, you could keep doing this.

You could do this for another year.

Maybe another few years.

When I was a kid, I always assumed I would go to grad school. It seemed so obvious: that was what you did when you were smart and liked learning. All the way up through high school, even during that period of my life where I thought I wanted to be an actor, grad school seemed like a no-brainer. Of course I would. Why wouldn’t I?

Then I actually got to college and experienced the great existential angst of choosing a major. I also came to realize that there were a number of things about academia that bothered me (last spring in particular, I remember telling one of my suitemates that I was just “so done” with academia). It’s not that I didn’t love talking about books, or pondering the ways that people think. I just didn’t love them as academic subjects in and of themselves.

But my interest in WWI isn’t like that. It isn’t like any interest I’ve ever had before. And when I consider my minimal personal investment in my psychology senior project research, it draws such a sharp contrast with the deeply personal investment I feel vis-à-vis my extracurricular First World War research. Academia would be a completely different experience with that kind of commitment and drive. Get me talking about WWI stuff and I light up like someone flipped a switch.

So, when you’re so passionately interested in the British treatment of shellshock and the writings/experiences of British soldiers, isn’t it…well, isn’t it obvious where you ought to be studying?

Like the title says: I can’t quite believe I’m saying this. I also can’t quite believe I’m saying it on this blog. I could just keep it all to myself. I’m very tempted to.

But

I’m

not

going

to.

So,

Let Operation Study Abroad in 2014 in the UK

(codename: Operation Bulldog 2.0)

commence.

A Moment of Everyday Magic (or, Getting the Right Notebook)

19 Feb

I’m taking a creative writing course this semester. It’s cool in some respects, but not cool in others, and the not cool part for me is the fact that every week we have an hour and a half lecture during which I learn approximately nothing.

Seriously.

To be fair, this is not entirely the fault of the professor/class. I’ve taken a fair few creative writing courses in my college career. I also started writing when I was five. I also spend/have spent a lot of time talking to writers and publishing industry people about writing. So while I’m sure that for people with different experiences, this lecture is engaging and productive, for me it means 90 minutes of spacing out, writing notes to myself, and staring blankly at the weekly handout while my equally-bored friend doodles on her notebook beside me.

(Sometimes we pass each other snarky notes, but that’s beside the point.)

Recently, I decided I needed to take matters into my own hands. This is my last semester of college, dammit. I want to get something out of this. I talked the matter over with my creative writing tutor (whom I very much like); she was sympathetic and suggested a few ways I could maybe make use of the lecture period, but also acknowledged I might just have to suck it up the rest of the time. I appreciated the input, but it was still a pretty bleak outlook. I thanked her for her suggestions.

And as soon as my meeting with her was over, I went to Barnes & Noble to buy myself a freaking writing notebook.

It makes me sad that I need to do this. At the same time, it’s really the only solution I can find that gives me any sense of satisfaction. If I have to sit in that lecture hall listening to professorial pontifications for an hour and a half each week, at least I’ll spend that time writing. Writing fiction. Writing something that I might actually be able to use.

But purchasing a writing notebook isn’t as straightforward as it sounds. I didn’t know what I was looking for, exactly. I had envisioned grabbing a simple, spiral-bound notebook, but every such notebook I found in the bookstore looked so…flimsy. And the sturdier ones were pointlessly pricier. I didn’t need one with my college’s name embossed on it. I didn’t need one for five subjects. I didn’t need one with graph paper.

Then I saw it.

You know how it happens: You’re in a store (usually a bookstore) and something just leaps off the shelf at you and cries, “ME! You came here to get ME, didn’t you?” :D In my case, the leaping object was a “Decomposition Notebook”—based on the old composition notebook style, but made from recycled paper, its charming cover printed with bees and honeycomb. There were lots of other composition notebooks like it, but this was the one. My notebook. It was so obvious.

Except…

I frowned at the price tag. Did I really need to pay $6 for this thing when I could easily get a comparable notebook for less than half that price? It wasn’t like $6 was going to break my bank account or anything, but still, that was two cups of chai right there. Why did this notebook need to be special anyways? Wasn’t I just going to scribble all over it?

I hemmed and hawed, but time was running out, and I had to get to class. Deciding that it didn’t really matter what notebook I had and that I could spend the extra $3 on chai, I put down my notebook and picked up one of the flimsy spiral-bound ones. I trotted up to the counter, fumbling in my bag for my debit card.

“Sorry, can you move to the next window down?” the cashier said, just as I’d pulled out my wallet and opened it.

“Oh. Uh, sure.” I started to close up my wallet again when my attention was snagged by the pocket I use to keep gift cards. And what should I see but a Barnes & Noble gift card, on which I happened to have about $8 remaining.

Fate. Providence. The Universe loves me. I spun about, dashed down the stairs, swapped out the flimsy thing for my notebook, and bounded back up, gift card in hand. I was going to get that notebook AND have chai to go with it. :D

And thus it was that I got the perfect writing notebook to use in my not-so-perfect writing class. I’m breaking it in today by picking up my 2012 NaNovel where I left off. Hopefully, I’ll get something new and interesting on the page.

Boo freaking yeah.

A Tale of Letters and Libraries (or, Ari and Siegfried Sassoon, Part IV)

11 Feb

At long last—the post you’ve been waiting for! This is the story of how I got to meet Siegfried Sassoon and Robert Graves.

“But wait a second, Ari,” you say. “You told us last time that Sassoon died in 1967. Have you just managed to pull a Sassoon and maintain your youthful looks for…*pause to do the math*…at least 46 years?”

No, dear readers and raptors. I have not. (Or have I? *smiles mysteriously*) But what I did have was an extraordinary stroke of luck.

One night over winter break, I found myself geeking out about WWI over the phone to my dear friend Azalea. In the course of our conversation (or—let’s be honest here—my rambling), I wanted to look up some detail or other, so I grabbed my copy of Sassoon’s biography. But as I paged throgh the bibliography, my gaze snagged on something that I did not expect: a name.

More specifically, the name of my school.

What?

It was the delicious exhilaration of stumbling onto the exposed corner of something huge—the tip of a dinosaur fossil, or the prow of a sunken ship. I all but dove for my computer, pulling up my university’s online library catalogue and typing in “Siegfried Sassoon”. A lot of the results were biographies, or copies of Sassoon’s own books. But there, buried among them, was an entry for the university’s rare books and manuscripts collection.

And in it? Letters. Written by Siegfried Sassoon.

There was a freaking Siegfried Sassoon COLLECTION.

I think the sounds I made into the phone may have been incoherent. Or if they were coherent, they were something along the lines of, “HOLYCRAPWHATISTHISOHMYGOD.”

I mean, I certainly knew about the rare books and manuscripts collection. I’d been there once with a class to look at some T.S. Eliot first editions. And I had a vague notion that maybe you could go there on your own time and look at stuff, but I assumed it involved a lot of training and security checks and whatnot to handle old manuscripts, and I’d never actually bothered to peruse the library catalogue to see what was in there. But following the preregistration instructions on the library website turned out to be remarkably easy, and within about five minutes, the only thing standing between me and the reading room was a registration photograph and the fact that school didn’t start up for another week and a half.

Now electrified with excitement, I plunged into the catalogue, searching every Sassoon-related term that I could. Original materials by W.H.R. Rivers? YES (first edition books/reports, but no handwritten stuff). Original materials by Wilfred Owen? No (unsurprising, but sad nonetheless). Original materials by Robert Graves? YES—there was a Robert Graves Collection as well!

I had to restrain myself from going a little crazy with the “request boxes” button.

Two weeks later, finally back on campus, I was waiting on tenterhooks. The two Sassoon boxes I’d requested had to be shipped in from an off-campus storage facility; they were due to be there by Friday, and I was told I’d get an email when they arrived. But walking past the library on Thursday afternoon, I couldn’t help myself. I slipped into the cool and softly-illuminated dimness of that beautiful space, with its rows of climate-controlled shelves, and asked the security guard what I needed to bring with me tomorrow when I came to look at some materials in the reading room.

The absolutely stunning Thomas Fisher Rare Book Library at University of Toronto. Not my school’s library, but it’s a similar look/feel.

“Two forms of photo ID,” he said. “And you know, you should head downstairs and ask if your stuff is here now.”

“Oh…” (don’t get your hopes up don’t get your hopes up) “Well, they said they’d be coming in tomorrow.”

“Yeah, but sometimes things come in early. Head on down and finish up your registration there, then see if your stuff has come in.”

“Okay…” (they said Friday they said Friday they said Friday)

I left my belongings in a locker and headed down. The woman at the desk cheerfully completed my registration and took my picture. “You’re all set!” she told me.

“Umm, so, the guy at the desk upstairs said I should ask if the boxes I ordered have come in.”

“Oh, are they supposed to arrive today?”

“No, tomorrow. But he said I should ask in case they came in early…”

She checked. They hadn’t. I felt appropriately chastened for having done precisely what I’d told myself not to do. I figured it was probably for the best, since I’d planned on making an event out of the library visit tomorrow. I thanked her and trooped on home, where I recounted the story to my suitemate Hana (who, by virtue of living with me, is usually the first person to hear about any new event in my life).

Then I plopped down on my couch to check my email and found I had two new messages—two emails from the library, telling me that the boxes had arrived and were waiting for me at the service desk. The messages had been sent about fifteen minutes after I’d left.

Literal heart palpitations. I’m not even kidding.

I didn’t jump up and throw on my coat that instant, though. It wasn’t as simple as that. Because no matter how thrilled I’d been at the prospect of getting to those boxes a day early, the fact was that I hadn’t psychologically prepared myself for this to be SASSOON DAY. SASSOON DAY was tomorrow. Friday. As such, I seriously considered just staying at home and going the next day like I’d planned.

But Hana told me to go. Mark told me to go. Marieke told me to go. So buzzing bundle of nerves that I was, I pulled myself together and walked back the way I’d come.

Into the cool, softly-glowing, book-filled space. Past the security desk with the friendly guard. Deposit all belongings except computer and notepad. Down the stairs. Through the glass doors. Up to the service desk. Sign in.

Receive box.

Clutch box in one arm and computer in other, in mortal terror of dropping either. Proceed to reading room. Set down computer. Set down box. Clench hands. Take a breath. Lift lid of box.

Remove first folder.
Set folder on table.
Open folder.

Pick up letter. Gloveless. Skin touching ink and paper.

Do your damnedest to stop shaking so you can read the damn thing.

I spent that afternoon paging through the letters, postcards, and photographs of Siegfried Loraine Sassoon. It took about 30 minutes for my hands to stop trembling. It was the natural awe of handling old papers combined with the awe of those papers having been his. That was his handwriting I was deciphering, with the strange lowercase g’s and the t’s that looked more like a spike on an ECG reading than a cursive letter (dear Siegfried, did it ever occur to you that someone might actually have to read what you wrote?). His hand moved across this page some eighty-odd years ago. I’m sure I sound like I’m devolving into fangirlishness à la Wilfred Owen, but if you’ve never handled old letters before in your life, please put it on your bucket list. Until someone invents a time machine, there is nothing like it in the world for bringing home the fact that historical figures were real, breathing, flawed, funny, loving, living human beings. From Sassoon to a friend and fellow poet who was teaching in Japan at the time:

“You will be wanting a supplement to the exhausted scribble I sent you in March, and I would like to believe that some such thought has migrated from Sendai to Bavaria this evening; (and that such events can happen I willingly do believe, for if poets can’t telepathize one another, who can?) But O, that you were here in corporeal completeness, for this room is the very one for a good tongue-travel with you, & endless cups of tea. Tantalizing indeed, for only this afternoon I received ½ lb. tin of excellent China tea, sent me by a kind friend in London—to whom I’d written that everything here is Elysian except the hot drink which Bavarians pretend is tea…” *

Endless cups of tea. Infini-tea, one might say.

Since that day, I’ve made so many trips to the library that the research librarians at the service desk now recognize me. I’ve read through folder after folder of Sassoon’s stuff (and have barely made a dent), as well as Robert Graves’s stuff. Best of all, there are things in there from Graves to Sassoon. My favorite such item is a poem called “Escape” that Graves wrote after he was wounded and reported dead at the Battle of the Somme.** It begins:

“But, Sassons,† I was dead an hour or more:
I woke when I’d already passed the door
That Cerberus guards & half way down the road
To Lethe, as an old Greek sign-post showed….”

I have the transcribed text of the poem, plus a scanned image. I wish I could show you, because Graves illustrated the whole thing with xkcd-esque stick figures and other little drawings (and it’s AWESOME), but I’m not sure about the legality of posting it on the internet.

But guys, Graves “died” on his 21st birthday. College students: he was your age when he wrote this quirky, teasing poem to one of his best friends about his narrow escape from death.

The Hawthorn Ridge mine explodes at 7:20 AM on July 1, 1916, marking the beginning of the Battle of the Somme (i.e. the battle in which Robert Graves supposedly died). (Imperial War Museum)

Real, breathing, flawed, funny, loving, living human beings.

The sad epilogue to this story is one that I’m slowly uncovering as I go through these letters and biographies, because in the years following the war, Graves and Sassoon’s relationship came apart at the seams. In incredibly painful ways that hurt my heart. I’m hesitant to explain any part of it just because my knowledge is so sketchy at this point that I’ll inevitably tell you something incorrect. But my rough understanding is that, while their friendship had been rocky in the late 1920s for several reasons, the publication of Graves’s autobiography Good-Bye to All That (written to be as controversial as possible so it would sell better) included material about Sassoon that was inaccurate in some places and highly personal (e.g. private correspondence) in others, all without Sassoon’s knowledge or consent. Sassoon was furious and deeply hurt. He contacted Graves’s publisher, who agreed to remove the worst of the offending material.

But the damage was done. A flurry of angry letters ensued between the two men. And thus it is that, on July 26th of 1937—nearly a decade later—Graves wrote to Sassoon from the United States:***

“Dear Siegfried,

I should like to see you when I come over for a month (Aug 13th to Sept 13th or so) not to chew over the fat of the past but to settle a sort of moral debt I owe you—and perhaps you owe me—namely, to see whether there is any remnant worth saving of the confused affection that there was once between us….”

The last part of that sentence is one of the things that hurts my heart.

I only have access to Graves’s half of the conversation, and I don’t know (yet) whether they did actually meet up. But I know their friendship was never restored to what it had been during the war. Honestly, that’s something that this entire WWI obsession has been forcing me to think about and confront: sometimes, change is painful and things don’t ever fully heal. You can lose a leg that won’t ever grow back. You can lose your innocence when you see unspeakable horrors. You can lose a bosom friend to time and distance and unkind words. And there’s something about this idea that profoundly disturbs me. Which is not to say that I think everyone else in the world is fine with it—just that, as an instinctual peacemaker with a morbid fear of physical and emotional damage, it’s an incredibly difficult idea for me to grapple with. I’m not done grappling. And I suspect that’s at least part of why I pursue this topic.

I hate to end on a sad note, so for what it’s worth: the consolation I find in Graves and Sassoon’s relationship is that while they were friends, they were very good friends. I think there’s a lot of value in that. And thus I end with an excerpt from the letter (now held by the New York Public Library) that preceded the “Escape” poem I quoted earlier:

Aug 4th ’16
Queen Alexandra Hospital

A ripping hospital, this. By the way, I died on my 21st birthday. I can never grow up now.

My dear Sassons,

I hope you haven’t taken the casualty lists seriously again. They are fools. I’m as right as rain & hope before many days to be up in glorious Merioneth again baking in the sun & storing up a large mass of Solar energy against our great Caucasus trip après la guerre. The rumour of my death was started by the regimental doctor & the Field Ambulance one swearing I couldn’t possibly live…

…Eddie tells me you were quite sad about my demise—dear old thing, I hope you didn’t avenge me with bombs or do anything rash!…

…Please reassure Holmes & Julian & Edmund Dadd & Joe Cottrell that they haven’t yet seen the last of me…Best of luck, & remember the men who cried out to the red-bearded hangman, “Non, tu ne me pourras pas tuer”: don’t succumb however many wise doctors give you up. Memento Caucasorum!

Yours v. aff[ectionate]ly,
Robert

Dear Robert, Wilfred, and Siegfried,

It has been a pleasure having you on the blog. Thank you for writing poetry. Thank you for being awesome. Thank you for being human.

Much love,
Ari

Missed part of the Ari and Siegfried Sassoon series? Here’s the rest:

Part I: Story of a Friend Crush
Part II: Mad Jack, Poet, Soldier, Non-Spy
Part III: Shellshock and Poetry
Part IV: you’re here!

————————————————————————————————————————————

*, **, *** I prefer not to put the full citations on my blog (for privacy reasons), but if you are for some reason desperate to know, feel free to email me.

† Graves’s nickname for Sassoon

DISCLAIMER: I am not a historian—merely a nerd. I’ve read quite a lot about Sassoon, but I certainly don’t know everything, and this blog series is in no way an authoritative narrative. If you want to learn more from people who actually know what they’re talking about, here are some of the resources you should look at (this is the closest I’ll get to a Works Cited page):

Egremont, Max. Siegfried Sassoon: A Life. New York: Farrar, Strauss and Giroux, 2005. Print.

Graves, Robert. Good-Bye to All That. New ed. Garden City, NY: Doubleday Anchor Books, 1957. Print.

The letter from Graves to Sassoon is from The First World War Poetry Digital Archive, University of Oxford (www.oucs.ox.ac.uk/ww1lit); © The Berg Collection, New York Public Library / The Robert Graves Copyright Trust

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Graves

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siegfried_Sassoon

Shellshock and Poetry (or, Ari and Siegfried Sassoon, Part III)

6 Feb

When we left off, Siegfried Sassoon had just proclaimed to the world that he would no longer fight in the Great War. This was done with the full knowledge of what awaited him: a court-martial, probably followed by imprisonment and (possibly) by death. He felt miserable at some points, buoyant at others, but was determined to see it through. His hope was that by making a scandal of it—martyring himself for the cause—he could change the course of government policy. Having a decorated officer declare the war “evil and unjust” ought to have an effect, right?

James Wilby as Siegfried Sassoon in Regeneration (US title: Behind the Lines). Artificial Eye Film Productions, Norstar Entertainment

Siegfried Sassoon (James Wilby) throws his MC in the Mersey in Regeneration (1997) (US title: Behind the Lines).
Credit: Artificial Eye Film Productions, Norstar Entertainment

The reaction of his friend Robert Graves, who was also convalescing in England at the time, was something along the lines of “WTF, SIEGFRIED. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” Oh, to be sure, Graves agreed with the declaration. But he thought publishing those thoughts was a stupid, useless thing to do, and he had a realistic idea of how the War Office would react. He (and others) tried to make Sassoon see the light: the War Office knew that Sassoon wanted to martyr himself; court-martialling him would be giving him exactly the kind of platform he wanted, which was the last thing they wanted. (Indeed, the Army had shown nothing but politeness and restraint in dealing with the situation so far.) Sassoon refused to retract his statement, but was now painfully aware of the worry he was causing his friends; in a fit of anger and frustration, he threw the ribbon of his Military Cross into the River Mersey.

So, desperate to save his friend from himself, Robert Graves took matters into his own hands.

Pulling every string he could, Graves asked for Sassoon to be given a medical board (i.e. examined to see if he was fit for military service). He then had to convince Siegfried to attend it. Taking him for a walk on the beach, he argued his case, saying he knew for a fact that Sassoon would not get a court-martial or the publicity he wanted. The medical board was, he emphasized, the only way to get out of this situation safely and honorably. Sassoon made him swear—literally, hold up an imaginary Bible and swear—that he knew this to be true, and Graves did it. But Graves lied. He didn’t know for sure that they wouldn’t order a court-martial, but he was willing to do whatever was necessary to convince Siegfried to go.

The next day, Graves testified before the board himself, so anxious and upset on Sassoon’s behalf that he burst into tears at several points. He painted his friend as a hero suffering from neurasthenia (i.e. shellshock/PTSD) due to his courageous battlefield acts. Sassoon was then called in and examined. Finally, after much debate, he was told to report to “Rivers” at the Craiglockhart War Hospital in Edinburgh. “He is suffering from a nervous breakdown,” the board’s report read, “and we do not consider him responsible for his actions.”

Dr. W.H.R. Rivers

The Soldier’s Declaration was now officially discredited.

Sassoon arrived at Craiglockhart on July 23, 1917 (Graves was supposed to escort him, but missed the train). The hospital specialized in the treatment of officers with war neuroses, and the “Rivers” he’d been sent to was Dr. William Rivers, a well-respected psychologist/psychiatrist. Although Sassoon hated Craiglockhart (“Dottyville”, as he called it) and spent most of his time writing, playing golf, and taking walks, he absolutely adored Rivers, describing him as his “father-confessor”. Everyone loved Rivers, actually—he was an intelligent and exceptionally compassionate person. His “sessions” with Sassoon mostly consisted of long conversations about Siegfried’s experiences/feelings/opinions on the war. In Sassoon’s words:

“Three evenings a week I went along to Rivers’ room to give my anti-war complex an airing. We talked a lot about European politicians and what they were saying….What the politicians said no longer matters as far as these memoirs of mine are concerned, though I would give a lot for a few gramophone records of my talks with Rivers. All that matters is my remembrance of the great  and good man who gave me his friendship and guidance. I can visualize him, sitting at his table in the late summer twilight, with his spectacles pushed up on his forehead and his hands clasped in front of one knee; always communicating his integrity of mind; never revealing that he was weary as he must often have been after long days of exceptionally tiring work on those war neuroses which demanded such an exercise of sympathy and detachment combined.”

Wilfred Owen

There was one other bright side to Dottyville, but it took several weeks to surface. The patients and staff at at Craiglockhart who read the newspapers had seen Sassoon’s declaration. One such patient was a young officer by the name of Wilfred Owen. A writer and poet himself, he became curious about Sassoon’s poetry and, upon ordering himself a copy of Siegfried’s book, The Old Huntsman, was utterly blown away. “Shakespeare reads vapid after these,” he wrote his mother.

Still, it was several weeks before Owen mustered the courage to timidly knock on Sassoon’s door. He found Siegfried perched on his bed and polishing some golf clubs. Stammering with shyness and fanboy awe (as well as due to his neurasthenia), Owen asked if Sassoon would be kind enough to autograph a few copies of The Old Huntsman. Siegfried was happy to oblige and the two of them proceeded to have a half-hour conversation, which ended with Sassoon advising Owen to “Sweat your guts out writing poetry!”.

And so began the friendship of the First World War’s two greatest poets.

The relationship wasn’t a balanced one, at least not at first. Owen was merely an “interesting little chap” to Sassoon after that first encounter, whereas Owen hero-worshipped practically everything about Sassoon (who was, after all, good-looking, 6.5 years older, 7.5 inches taller, a decorated officer, and a published poet). Siegfried also had the advantage of being one of those charismatic people who, although he sometimes gave the impression of aloofness (mostly due to being shy), turned out to be an intelligent, funny, thoughtful, endearingly self-centered person once you got him talking. It was a recurring theme throughout his life: there was something intensely beguiling about his manner, and he seemed to fascinate nearly everyone he met. Owen was certainly no exception.

Nevertheless, they started to meet regularly to talk shop, often with Sassoon reading his latest work to Owen, who thought it “superb beyond anything in his Book”. Sassoon agreed to look at some of Owen’s poetry as well—not terribly impressed at first, but increasingly interested as Owen accepted his critiques and improved. The younger man even gained enough confidence to make suggestions about Sassoon’s work (and was amazed when Sassoon accepted the notes—imagine, your favorite writer taking suggestions from you!). Owen began to experiment with writing about the war, sometimes in Sassoon’s style and sometimes in his own. And one day, he showed Sassoon a sonnet that began,

“What passing bells for these who die as cattle?

Only the monstrous anger of the guns

Only the stuttering rifles’ rapid rattle

Can patter out their hasty orisons…”

Owen’s manuscript for “Anthem for Doomed Youth”, with Sassoon’s edits on it. Note the original title and Sassoon’s suggestion to change it. Click to enlarge. (British Library, Manuscript Collections)

Sassoon was impressed. Really and honestly impressed, and as they worked to edit it, he even suggested that they might try to get it published. While that didn’t end up happening, it did make Sassoon start to take “little Wilfred” more seriously. And over time, Owen’s hero-worship also faded a bit as he found himself able to laugh affectionately at Siegfried’s flaws.

Wilfred Owen was discharged from Craiglockhart in October 1917. The night he left, the two friends dined together at a club, and Sassoon left before Owen did—but not before handing him an envelope and giving him stern instructions not to open it until he’d gone. When Owen opened it, he discovered a £10 note and the address of one of Sassoon’s literary friends/mentors in London, plus a note from Sassoon telling him to go have some fun. Overwhelmed, Owen tried to express his gratitude in a letter, realized he was completely overdoing it, and waited a few days before trying again to explain how much Sassoon’s friendship and mentorship meant to him:

“Know that since mid-September, when you still regarded me as a tiresome little knocker on your door, I held you as Keats + Christ + Elijah + my Colonel + my father-confessor + Amenophis IV in profile. 

What’s that mathematically? 

In effect it is this: that I love you, dispassionately, so much, so very much, dear Fellow, that the blasting little smile you wear on reading this can’t hurt me in the least. 

If you consider what the above Names have severally done for me, you will know what you are doing. And you have fixed my Life – however short. You did not light me: I was always a mad comet; but you have fixed me. I spun round you a satellite for a month, but I shall swing out soon, a dark star in the orbit where you will blaze.”

(Brief biographical interlude: if that reads like a love letter, that’s because it basically is one. Though there’s not a lot of concrete evidence (I’ll explain why shortly), based on the correspondence we have, it certainly seems like Owen was in love with Sassoon. (That can’t come as a total surprise based on what I’ve said so far, right?) Whether they had any kind of romantic/sexual relationship is up for debate depending on who you talk to, but whatever happened between them, it meant more to Owen than it did to Sassoon. That said, Siegfried was certainly very fond of Wilfred, and when…well, I’m getting ahead of myself. Keep reading and I promise we’ll get there.)

The Craiglockhart Hydropathic, as it looks today (now part of Napier University)

Owen might have escaped from Dottyville, but Sassoon had not. In the course of his sessions with Rivers at Craiglockhart, Sassoon had been forced to repeatedly confront one agonizing fact: no matter how much he hated the war, and no matter how much he wanted to stay true to his ideals, his men were still out on the front. Suffering. Dying. And from his safe little room in this safe little building on this safe little island, there was nothing he could do to save them. Reading the casualty lists in the papers was a daily torture. And he gradually realized he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he didn’t go back.

“…In bitter safety I awake, unfriended;

And while the dawn begins with slashing rain

I think of the Battalion in the mud.

‘When are you going out to them again?

Are they not still your brothers through our blood?’”

So, he went back.

It took some work and several false starts. Like Robert Graves, Dr. Rivers had to pull some strings to get Sassoon a medical board—and then had to do it all over again when Sassoon missed the first one. And once he’d been declared fit, it took a while for him to actually get back to France—he ended up at a training camp in Ireland first, then deployed in Palestine. But by May of 1918 he was finally finally finally back among the horrors of the trenches and the beauty of the French countryside. The few familiar faces here were far outnumbered by the unfamiliar; death had not been kind to the battalion in Sassoon’s absence, and his remaining friends were glad to have him back. (Robert Graves, also still alive, was in England.)

But on July 13, 1918, while he was returning from no-man’s land after one of his usual daredevil patrols, Sassoon was mistaken for a German by one of his own men and shot in the head.

Yup, in the head.

Ne freak-out pas, as my high school French teacher would say. He didn’t die. He thought he was dying at first, as did the man who’d shot him (horrified once he discovered what he’d done)—but the bullet hadn’t penetrated his skull. Just a lot of bleeding, as scalp wounds do. At the casualty clearing station, Sassoon firmly told the doctors that he did not want or need to be sent home. It wasn’t his decision to make, though; he was shipped back to England.

Wilfred Owen

Nor was recuperating in a London hospital Sassoon’s idea of a good time. He was annoyed at having his social visits restricted, miserable at being cooped up, and distraught over being separated from his men again. His friends worried frankly about his “hankering” after death. But in August, who should reappear but Wilfred Owen, who was now well on his way to being a full-fledged poet. The two spent the space of a single afternoon together shortly before Owen was due to return to France. Owen neglected to mention this fact; Siegfried had once said it would be good for Owen’s poetry if he went back but, at another point, had threatened to stab him in the leg if he did. In part, Owen felt that he had to go back so that at least one of them would be writing from the front lines. But only once he was in France did Owen actually tell Sassoon where he’d gone. The two men corresponded over the next two months, Sassoon sending his newest book, and Owen sending new poems he’d written—poems that made Siegfried finally realize “little Wilfred’s” incredible potential as a poet. And the tide of the war had turned. Germany was losing ground, unable to compete with the Allies’ new American resources. And then…

And then.

On November 4th, 1918, exactly one week before the Armistice, Lt. Wilfred Owen of the Manchester Regiment led his company in an attempt to cross the Sambre-Oise canal at Ors, under heavy fire, and was killed in action. He was 25 years old. The telegram notifying his parents was delivered on November 11th, 1918 as the bells were ringing to celebrate the end of the war.

Sassoon didn’t find out about Owen’s death until several months after the fact. According to one quote I’ve read (though can’t verify), he described it in later years as “an unhealed wound, & the ache of it has been with me ever since.” What we do know is that Sassoon went on to become the greatest advocate and supporter of Owen’s work, personally editing several books of Owen’s poetry. Indeed, it’s largely due to Sassoon that we know as much of Owen as we do. And remember how I said I would explain why we don’t know more? Wilfred Owen had left his mother instructions to burn a sack of letters and personal papers in the event of his death—and to the everlasting chagrin of biographers everywhere, she did as he asked. There are a good many things we shall never know about him as a result (but then again, such is the case with all biography).

Sassoon in 1920

If you want to find out what happened to Sassoon in the years after the war, you’ll have to turn to one of the excellent resources listed below, because here at the end of the war comes the end of my telling of his story. I will say that he went on to write a great deal of poetry, as well as his memoirs (both fictionalized and, later, more honestly autobiographical). His friendship with Robert Graves, rocky after Graves’s efforts to “save” him, deteriorated pretty completely in later years (more on this in my next post). He had several love affairs (most notably with Stephen Tennant). And although he was gay, he went on to marry a woman (Hester Gatty) because he wanted to be a father (and got his wish). And he lived to the ripe old age of 80, dying in 1967.

WHOOOEEEEEE! Mad props if you made it to the end of that thing! Had I known I’d get so wrapped up in telling this, I’d have restructured my blog series, but there wasn’t a good place to break up this chunk of the story, so thanks for sticking around. :) Keep your eyes peeled for the final blog post (not nearly this long, I promise you) on how I got to “meet” Sassoon, Graves, and others. :)

And finally—I know I skated over the poetry in these biographical sketches, but PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE do read it. It’s the reason these guys are famous, and it’s incredible stuff (although, obvious-but-fair-warning: it’s about war, and war is not pretty).

Here are a few of my favorites to get you started:

Sassoon

Base Details

Survivors

Repression of War Experience

The Glory of Women

Aftermath

Owen

Anthem for Doomed Youth

Dulce et Decorum Est

S I W (stands for ‘Self Inflicted Wounds’—trigger warning for suicide)

The Parable of the Old Man and the Young

Missed part of the Ari and Siegfried Sassoon series? Here’s the rest:

Part I: Story of a Friend Crush
Part II: Mad Jack, Poet, Soldier, Non-Spy
Part III: you’re here!
Part IV: A Tale of Libraries and Letters

DISCLAIMER: I am not a historian—merely a nerd. I’ve read quite a lot about Sassoon, but I certainly don’t know everything, and this blog series is in no way an authoritative narrative. If you want to learn more from people who actually know what they’re talking about, here are some of the resources you should look at (this is the closest I’ll get to a Works Cited page):

Egremont, Max. Siegfried Sassoon: A Life. New York: Farrar, Strauss and Giroux, 2005. Print.

Graves, Robert. Good-Bye to All That. New ed. Garden City, NY: Doubleday Anchor Books, 1957. Print.

Sassoon, Siegfried. The Complete Memoirs of George Sherston. 2nd ed. London: World Books, 1940. Print.

Stallworthy, Jon. Wilfred Owen. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1974. Print.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siegfried_Sassoon

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wilfred_owen

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